Why buy The Telegraph?

Today the two attractions offered at the top of the Daily Telegraph's front page are:

- Esther Rantzen "You can't beat a hero with a handbag"

and

- Sarah Mower "The return of the trouser suit".

Buyers with brains wanting a newspaper can look elsewhere.

Further down - still on the front page - we can read a report about the important topical subject of herbal tea. (Egypt? Try inside.)

Sales of herbal tea have risen by 60% in a year....

So say Whittard of Chelsea, hardly typical tea suppliers. So what proportion of the tea market is made up by sales of herbal tea? The Newspaper of the Year cannot be bothered to tell you, preferring instead to mention Jennifer Aniston.

If you still want more Chelsea after that, fear not. We are told at the bottom of the front page: "Three cheers! Chelsy Davy is back in town". Yes, you can read Bryony Gordon on page 21.

Newspaper of the year?