This is the Evening Standard's amusing heading to an astonishing development in the already astonishing tale of the dispute over protecting the Dartford Warbler, which I blogged in April.
Now, under the plans to safeguard the birds' vulnerable nests, families buying homes in a 300 square mile swathe of the Home Counties would be forced to sign an agreement never to own a cat. An alternative proposal from Natural England (formerly English Nature) would prohibit development within 440 yards of the nesting grounds - a distance deemed to be the 'roaming range' of cats. But - of course - "experts" are disputing this.
Discussions involving politicians, planners and developers continue. You couldn't make it up.